


Choices

by tentainokonton



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-23 01:04:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tentainokonton/pseuds/tentainokonton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A choose your own ending story featuring the lovely pair of Liam Payne and Zayn Malik. There are three endings to choose from, and each one is drastically different from the other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scene 1

**Author's Note:**

> Your choice will result in a happy ending, an angsty ending and a bittersweet ending. So, choose wisely my friends. Ziam hangs in the balance! Plus, depending on your mood, you can end the story however you see fit!
> 
> Originally posted on tumblr in July of 2012.

Was it true? Did they actually have a couple of days totally to themselves before having to continue with their live shows? It was hard to believe, but all five of the boys were incredibly excited. Management had been kind enough to bring them to San Diego about a week early so they could explore the beautiful California city for a little while before having to get back to business.

Granted, their time off was to be inter-dispersed with stage rehearsals, interviews and other things of the like, but it was time off.

Liam didn’t mind working a lot. In fact, he tended to prefer it. Having little downtime was something he’d grown used to since his days on the X-Factor. By now he was capable of fitting into a few hours what took most people all day. The idea of being completely free for an entire day at the least felt like being given a whole week. And the near week? Well, that felt like a month!

The boys had stuck together for the first day or so of their official time off, seeing the sights, taking lots of pictures and enjoying local cuisine.

But one thing eventually drove them apart in their adventures: Six Flags.

“You sure you don’t want to join us?” Harry asked.

“No, quite positive,” Zayn replied with a nervous chuckle. “Roller coasters aren’t claiming my life today, that’s for sure.”

“Oh, don’t be a git,” Louis said, throwing an arm around Zayn’s shoulders. “There’s more to the place than roller coasters, mate!”

“Come off it,” Niall said in agreement. “You’ll have loads of fun. We’ll keep you safe.”

“No, really,” Zayn insisted, shifting from side to side. He shook his head.

Liam intervened with feigned confidence. “Zayn actually already agreed to come with me to this really wicked sweets shop they have here in the city. I didn’t figure you lads would all want to come, so I asked him alone.” He stepped close to Zayn then, and when Louis let him go, Liam bumped their shoulders together, smiling at him.

“You didn’t think I’d want to come to a sweets shop?” Niall frowned, throwing his hands up in the air. He laughed. “Liam, it’s like you don’t know me at all, mate!”

“Yeah, yeah, you three go on and enjoy scaring the piss out of yourselves. Meanwhile, we’re going to enjoy gaining ten pounds from a chocolate overdose. I’ll be sure to get you some, Niall.”

Harry folded his arms over his chest, shaking his head slowly from side to side. “Why anyone would choose sweets over roller coasters is beyond me…you two are mental. But you enjoy. We’ll meet up with you later tonight?”

“Yeah, later tonight,” Liam agreed. “You guys go off and enjoy yourselves. Take pictures and all that.”

“Don’t go crazy,” Louis ordered, chuckling. “One Direction needs all five members. If you eat too much chocolate and you break out like mad, we’ll just make them plaster your face with makeup for the show later this week.”

Zayn grinned at Liam. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

At that point the five boys said their goodbyes. Harry, Louis and Niall exited Liam’s hotel room and headed downstairs with Paul and a few members of security. For a moment Liam and Zayn stared at each other in silence, but both quickly dissolved into laughter.

“Thank you for saving me from that nightmare,” Zayn said gratefully. He visibly relaxed, tension washing away from him. “If they put me on a rollercoaster, I’d have probably wet myself.”

“I figured,” Liam said, offering a smile. “Bad news is now you have to actually come with me to this sweets shop.”

“It’s not bad news, Li. I like spending time with you. It’ll be nice, just you and me.” Zayn started for the door, stopping himself when he gripped the handle. “Meet me in ten? Just need to redo my hair a bit.”

Liam nodded as Zayn left. There were times when Zayn said things to him, completely innocuous things, which he couldn’t help but take with a double meaning. Just you and me? Surely he couldn’t have meant any more to that than exactly what he’d said: he enjoyed spending time with Liam. Still, he felt like there could be more to it—like Zayn was trying to say he enjoyed Liam’s company romantically.

It was ridiculous, really, this—this crush Liam had developed. He wasn’t exactly sure when it had surfaced; part of him thought it had come about slow and leisurely, like a crockpot meal. Liam knew he was by no means gay, but he also knew he felt something different with regard to Zayn. Something about his adoration for him didn’t seem as foreign or as strange as, say, fancying Harry or Niall. The idea of being with Zayn felt comforting. In addition, it almost seemed to excite him a little.

Liam shook his head suddenly. These were the kinds of thoughts that had plagued him for some time, now. He thought he’d be able to get over them like any other crush. To his demise, this had been going on for months, and showed no sign of stopping any time soon.

“You can do this, Liam,” he said, encouraging himself to keep strong and focused. This was nothing special. This was simply two friends hanging out. Two friends spending time together at a sweets shop.

He could only hope to God that Zayn wore more than the tank top he’d been wearing not but a few moments previous. If not, Liam was in for an even bumpier ride.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Liam. I don’t think it’s safe for one person to have this much chocolate. I’m being one-hundred percent serious.”

“What did you say, Zayn? I couldn’t hear you over the awesomeness of this chocolate basket!”

All right, maybe Liam did go a little overboard. But he had justified it by reminding himself that he’d not purchased all the chocolate for himself. The basket was positively overloaded with chocolate in all shapes and forms, such as bars, powder and lollipops. Liam figured he’d demolish a good third of it on his own, but the rest would be for his best friends, as well as the production team.

“You’re mental.”

“Oh, I am not. I already told you: I plan on sharing this with the crew and the boys. Feel free to help yourself to some.”

It took Zayn a moment, but he finally smiled. “All right. Maybe just one piece. But later.” He glanced at his watch. “Where the bloody hell did the day go? It’s almost eight.”

Liam started to shrug, only to stop himself. Was it really almost eight? The day really had gone by.

“Well, we had a late breakfast, then mucked around the city for a while before we finally got to the sweets shop. We came back here to the hotel and had dinner with the others—that lasted forever—and now we’re back where we started. I guess we spent more time out than we thought.”

Zayn laughed. “Liam, I lose all sense of time when I’m with you, mate.”

“Me too,” Liam said, giving Zayn a smile. He was currently standing by the small circular table near the entrance to his hotel room, still holding on to the chocolate basket like it was his precious baby. He finally moved away from it, kicked off his shoes and started for his bed. “I think I’m gonna call it a night since we’ve got our rehearsals tomorrow. Maybe watch a movie. Want to join?”

“A movie? Sounds ace. What’s on?”

“Hell if I know,” Liam said with a laugh. He patted the bed, then reached over and grabbed the TV remote. “These American hotels have the weirdest things available. What do you feel like watching?”

“Mm…don’t mind, really.”

Zayn kicked off his own shoes, hopped on the bed and then curled up against the headboard, clutching hold of Liam’s pillow. Liam didn’t have the heart to tell him that was the one he’d been sleeping with and that he wanted to use it. Part of him hoped that maybe Zayn knew that; that maybe Zayn had knowingly chosen that pillow, wanting to be close to Liam.

_The rubbish your brain comes up with,_ Liam chastised inwardly, frowning.

“Well, let’s go with the first thing that pops up then,” he said in an attempt to redirect himself. Once the television started up and Liam selected the movies option, there was a section featuring films still in theaters. He opted for Snow White and the Huntsman, glancing to Zayn, who gave a nod of approval. The movie started up instantly, and within minutes Liam was grossly enraptured by the story. He leaned forward on the bed and began to idly pick at his sock, eyes darting from person to person during the tale of the queen.

“I can’t remember the last time I went to a cinema and actually saw a movie there,” Zayn said with a sigh. He nudged Liam’s arched back. “What about you?”

“It’s been ages. This is as close as I’ve been able to get since going on tour.” Liam glanced back at Zayn. “This is a lot nicer than seeing it in a theater, though. I mean, how can you beat room service? Eating some nice eggs while lying back on a bed?”

“Eating eggs? Oh, Li. Only you, mate. Only you.”

Zayn gripped Liam’s neck, his light touch lingering as he gently massaged the smooth skin. It sent a chill down the younger one’s spine, and he tried to stay still, not wanting Zayn to think his shifting meant he disapproved of the touch.

Zayn was an affectionate individual, always touching, poking and prodding Liam in some way, shape or form, and Liam loved it. He loved the intimacy and reveled in it, knowing this was as close as he could get to it without pushing the envelope. He thanked God daily that Zayn wasn’t the type who kept his hands to himself.

Of course, he could have interpreted the touches a completely different way, could have interpreted them as a show of personal attraction, but it was impractical to do so. Zayn was like this with all of the boys. He expressed his adoration through touch.

“You’re awfully tense, Li.”

Zayn’s words snapped Liam back into the moment. He hadn’t realized how true the other’s words were until now.

“Reckon it’s all the flying,” Liam said.

He couldn’t help but melt a little as Zayn pressed somewhat harder, massaging not only his neck, but down upon his collarbone as well. But soon the touch came to a stop, and he could have cried. This was the kind of torture he wanted to put up with just for the chance of a touch? It was ridiculous.

Liam wasn’t sure at which point in the movie he started to feel tired. He eventually came to lie down on the bed beside Zayn, his eyes drooping slowly but surely.

And within minutes, lulled by the comfort of Zayn’s proximity and the peaceful music from the movie, Liam fell asleep.

* * * * * * * * * *

Liam awoke with a start.

Although he could barely piece together the last few moments of his dream—something about him and Zayn being left behind during an important flight, which resulted in them fooling around in the airport bathroom—Liam knew that it was probably best for him to forget it. He’d been having far too many dreams about Zayn lately, and the further they got on their tour, the more inappropriate they became. That was tame by recent standards. Liam sort of wished the dream hadn’t happened at all, because along with all of these lascivious visions came an aching morning wood that took ages to get rid of.

He began to shift around, only to feel a body shifting back against him. There was a tan, tattooed arm draped over his waist, and just across the pillow was the peacefully sleeping face of his best mate, Zayn. That was when the events of the night before started filling his head once again. He and Zayn must have fallen asleep watching Snow White and the Huntsman. The thing that confused Liam, however, was that they’d fallen asleep side by side. How in the world had they ended up so entangled?

Upset and startled by his current situation, Liam did what anyone would do: he leaped before looking, and over reacted. He pushed himself out of Zayn’s grip with such fervor that he nearly threw himself out of the full size bed. Their intertwined legs created quite a problem that Liam nearly kicked to get out of. That caused the other boy to stir, rolling around upon the bed and revealing his own morning arousal bulging against the fabric of his pants.

Zayn smacked his lips together a couple of times, reaching up to rub his eyes. It took him a few moments to open them.

“Li?” he groaned, voice hoarse from sleeping with his mouth open all night.

“Morning, Zayn,” he said, trying not to look as vulnerable as he felt.

It was a battle he lost.

Zayn slowly moved to sit up. He, too, had a moment of realization, which Liam watched with strange curiosity. Though he’d seen Zayn wake up dozens of times before, something about today was different. Felt different.

All of the sudden Liam was hit with the idea that he could deal with this anymore.

This was too much.

“Reckon I fell asleep on your bed,” Zayn said, letting out a breathy chuckle. “Sorry, mate. I guess the movie wasn’t as gripping as we thought it would be.”

Before Liam could fully grasp hold of why, he popped up and out of the bed, his back to Zayn and his mind doing everything in its power to distract him from his aching erection.

“Li?” Zayn called after him. “You all right?”

“Fine,” Liam snapped, immediately regretting it. He could almost see Zayn shrinking back.

It isn’t like him to snap. The boys have learned that when he does, it’s not good.

“I, um, I think we’ve been spending a little too much time together, Zayn,” Liam stated quickly, his back still to him. In an attempt to keep his erection a secret, he sidestepped toward the bathroom, slipping beyond the open door. From there he continued, “This is a little much. We can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep doing this.”

Zayn’s expression pained Liam beyond words. It was as if what he’d said had slapped the Bradford boy across the face, stinging deep. Unabashed about the state of his own erection, Zayn climbed out of the bed and began to approach the bathroom door.

“Li, what’s going on with you? Are you—”

“No, Zayn, stay back!” Liam barked. “I’m being completely serious. I’m dating Danielle. You’re with Perrie. This—this can’t happen, whatever—whatever this is. We need time apart.”  
That was as close to admitting his feelings for Zayn that Liam had ever gotten. He couldn’t keep suppressing them during this tour if moments like this happened. The longer he was away from Danielle, the harder it became—the more the line blurred. Liam didn’t want that. He couldn’t handle being confused, hurt or scared, and that was exactly how he felt at this very moment.

And it looked as if Zayn was feeling a very similar rainbow of emotion, but with one addition: anger.

“Liam Payne, you sodding git, I don’t know what you’re on about, but if you want space, fine. I’ll give you space.”

Zayn was a surprising whirlwind around Liam’s hotel room. The younger boy watched in silence as he grabbed up his personal belongings, slipped on his shoes and was out into the hall in less than half of a minute.

Liam was suddenly very alone, both inside and out.

* * * * * * * * * *

“They haven’t talked to each other for like two days now,” Louis murmured.

“Maybe they had a fight,” Niall mused.

“Well, let them solve it,” Harry said. “They’re grown-ups. We don’t have to—oh, shit, quiet!”

Liam had heard their entire conversation but chose to pretend otherwise. He didn’t feel like bringing up the topic of his and Zayn’s fight, and he sure as hell didn’t feel like talking about it. Thankfully for him, Niall, Harry and Louis were more than happy to distract him from it. Liam was sure they’d done the same for Zayn.

Zayn. Liam’s heart ached at the mere thought of the other boy, but he did his best to ignore it. His decision that morning to ask for space had been so brash, so abrupt, there was no easy way to repair it. He saw Zayn a little later that day and the older one had acted as if he didn’t exist. However, the shrug-off was relieving, because it gave Liam exactly what he wanted: space. He needed room to breathe. Not having Zayn around him all the time was the most helpful step in keeping thoughts of him at bay.

“Hi guys. Ready for this rehearsal?” Liam asked, trying to keep his tone upbeat.

“Can’t wait to have a go at it!” Louis said, with perhaps too cheerful of a tone. He brushed a few strands of hair from his eyes. “I was practicing all night, you know. The fans love to call me out when I make a mistake on stage, so I have to be flawless.”

“We’re just waiting for…Zayn,” Niall said, tilting to the side and glancing beyond Liam. “There he is now.”

Liam turned just in time to see Zayn walk right past him, settling in comfortably beside Niall. He put an arm loosely around the Irishman’s shoulders and smiled. Liam noticed it didn’t reach his eyes. He also noticed Zayn pointedly avoided making any eye contact with him.

“You lads ready to wipe the stage with our awesome steps?” Zayn asked.

“I was just telling Liam here that I’m going for one-hundred percent success,” Louis beamed. “So you better do the same, mate.”

“Count on it,” Zayn replied.

The five of them exchanged idle banter while they walked to the stage. Paul guided them to their assigned places for the first number and walked them through what was expected of them. Liam paid partial attention, since by his own personal request he had been placed by Zayn. Zayn was actively trying to avoid contact wherever possible, and Liam did much the same. He could feel Harry, Louis and Niall occasionally sending glances his way, which only served to make matters more uncomfortable. If they brought too much attention to their intentional avoidance of interaction, there would be all sorts of questions.

What’s more, this whole ordeal was reminding him of just how hard it was to actually have space from Zayn. He wasn’t sure it was the best thing for him anymore, but he fully intended to stick by it.

This was going to be a long night.

* * * * * * * * * *

Liam was officially distraught. 

Operation Space From Zayn had seemed like an excellent idea at the beginning, but now, several days in, all it served to do was upset him. Zayn’s pointed avoidance of Liam in all forms had begun to hurt now, whether it was turning around when he saw him coming, ignoring a tweet from him, or worst of all, no longer greeting him.

Liam was an incredibly sensitive person, fragile, even, some would say, and he wore his heart on his sleeve. The constant rejection from Zayn—which had been entirely his own fault—had blown up so badly that now, he was suffering far worse than before.

He needed Zayn’s upbeat, playful energy in his life. He needed those random, reassuring touches. He needed to know that Zayn wasn’t mad at him, that he hadn’t hurt him.  
Damn it all, he just needed Zayn back.

Although he tried his hardest to pull Zayn aside and talk about it, there was no chance for any time alone together. They had just flown into Vegas that morning and their show was in less than five minutes.

So, Liam expressed himself the best way he knew how: he sang.

He sang with such intensity, such passion, hoping that Zayn would not only hear his words, but hear him. That night there were no fans, no Harry, Niall or Louis—just Zayn. That stage was his personal platform for expressing his need for his best friend in his life. Liam was willing to deal with the unrequited love, with the gut-wrenching pain of longing, so long as he just got Zayn back.

A life without Zayn wasn’t a life worth living.

By the end of their show, Liam’s heart was pounding. He’d lain out his feelings on the table. If Zayn had listened well, then he would know Liam was aware how stupid his decision was. He would know how much Liam needed him in his life. Most importantly, he would know that Liam was sorry—sorry for his stupid decision, and sorry for how it affected them.

He was the first to exit stage left. At this point they usually went to clean up in their dressing rooms and then came back out to sign autographs and take pictures, but at that moment, he wanted nothing more than to get back to his hotel room and curl up in his bed. He was emotionally and physically drained. He wasn’t sure he could stand putting on a front for the fans.

Before he could disappear into the preparation area, Liam felt a strong hand grasp his wrist. He started, turning his head to see where it had come from. His heart leaped at the sudden sight of Zayn.

Zayn pulled him into a dark, secluded corner of the pathway, away from the flashing lights and the dozens of overheated bodies. His tan skin was flushed and dried sweat clung to his cheeks and brow.

He’d never looked more beautiful.

“Liam,” Zayn began, “I need you to know something. But right now, most importantly, I just need you to listen to me. Okay?”

Liam nodded.

“You’re a clever lad, but you can be really dense when it comes to some things. I don’t think you understand that how I feel for you isn’t the same way I feel for the other boys. I’ve fancied you for a long time, Liam—far longer than I ever thought possible. And it kills me every day to know that I can’t be with you the way that I want to, because you have a happy, wonderful relationship with a really fit girl. If I weren’t the guy I am, I wouldn’t hesitate to advance on you and make you mine. But because I respect you and respect Danielle, I’m not going to.”

He paused to take a deep breath. “I know that on some level you feel the same way about me. I haven’t ever pushed you toward acting on those feelings because I didn’t know if they were fleeting or what. What you said to be the other day in San Diego about needing space pretty much told me all I need to know, though, and it got me thinking.

So, here’s what I propose. You think on what I just said to you for a little while, while we do our autographs and our photos and everything. I’ll text you before I go to bed tonight with a simple question: ‘Can I come over?’ If you say yes, then I’ll know you feel the same way and that you’re willing to work something out. If you say no, then I’ll drop it. It’ll be like we never had this discussion.”

“If I say no, what happens?” Liam asked, genuinely curious. “With us, I mean? Do we—do we stay like this, or…?”

“I’ll drop it,” Zayn repeated, more sternly than before. “You have my word, Li. So trust me.”

_Trust me._

Liam felt his insides knot. He had never liked making tough decisions and now he was faced with one of the toughest he’d ever come across. How could he make such a decision in only a few hours?

Zayn loosened his grip on Liam’s wrist before letting go altogether. He licked his lips, stepping back.

“Text you soon.”


	2. Liam texts Zayn "Yes"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Option 1 - where Liam chooses to text Zayn “Yes”. Please do not read until you’ve read through the first part of Choices!

Yes or no.

Liam felt sick to his stomach. Everything that happened with the fans was now a complete blur. He wasn’t sure how he’d managed to keep himself smiling and happy throughout it all when inside his guts were doing flips.

How was he supposed to be okay with making this kind of decision? Either way, whatever he decided would change a relationship that he held so dear.

Liam tried to compare what he felt for Zayn to what he felt for Danielle, but to no avail. The feelings that stirred inside of him when he thought of one and then the other were virtually identical. Liam knew there were countless reasons why for each side, but what it all boiled down to was the fact that he loved them both.

He loved them both.

After a long, hot shower and a snack of cookies and milk, Liam settled in front of his computer, prepared to waste some time fiddling about online. Before he had a chance to, however, his phone beeped.

His heart skipped a beat.

Liam picked it up and unlocked the screen. There, in simple text, was Zayn’s question:

_Can I come over?_

He took a deep breath, staring at the screen for a long while. Finally, in a fit of bravery, he typed in his response:

_Yes x_

Knuckles rapped upon his hotel room door not but a second later. Liam got up from the table where he sat, his heart pounding in his chest. He’d yet to come to a full decision, but he knew that he wanted to see Zayn, needed to see Zayn.

When he opened the door, Zayn stood before him looking casual and comfortable. He was wearing his glasses and his hair was down, covering the majority of his forehead. He also wore a pair of grey sweatpants and a Metallica T-shirt.

“Come in,” Liam said.

After shutting the door behind him, Liam turned to get a good look at Zayn. The adrenaline pumping through his system had him nearly shaking; he wasn’t sure how he could keep himself under control.

There was something to be said about his resolve.

“Are you okay?” Zayn asked, seeing right through his façade. It almost made him chuckle.

“Yes. Yes…and no. I—”

Liam didn’t know quite how to verbalize his emotions. Admitting that he loved Zayn to himself was hard enough. It was a feeling he’d tried to keep buried for months. Everything had happened so fast. He wasn’t even sure he could properly express himself.

Zayn came closer, but Liam held up his hand.

“Look, Zayn, I…I need you to know that…I’ve thought about this as best I can. And I—I wouldn’t have said you could come here if I didn’t know that my feelings for you were just as strong as yours for me. But I…I need time. I don’t know how to deal with this yet. I don’t know how to deal with being in love with two people. I don’t know how to accept that I’ve fallen in love with another boy. I just…don’t.”

Zayn looked crestfallen. Liam had hoped that being honest would work—that it would earn him some brownie points. He wanted to make this work somehow, but it wasn’t going to happen overnight.

“I need time,” he reiterated.

“Time,” Zayn repeated, his voice strained. He reached up and ran his hand down his face. “You need…time.”

Liam nodded.

“Well, I can’t—I can’t handle time, Li.”

“Wait, what? What do you mean?”

Zayn’s eyes were beginning to moisten. Liam had never seen Zayn cry before. Naturally, the sight made his own throat tighten and his eyes begin to threaten moisture just the same.

“I just fucking can’t, Li. I’ve been waiting for two years—two years—for you to realize what it is that I’ve had for you has been love all along. All those nights we spent together, all those touches, caresses, everything. I pined for you day and night, through the good and the bad.” He sniffed. “I’ve been waiting for two years, and I can’t wait any longer.”  
Every word was raw, dripping with painful emotion. Liam himself was crying by the end of it, sniffling into the smooth, warm skin of his forearm. He had just admitted to wanting to make it work, and Zayn was basically telling him no.

“Why can’t you wait?” Liam whispered.

“Because I’ve waited too long, Li. I can’t stand the thought of another day where it isn’t me you sleep next to. Where it isn’t me that you dream about. I can’t stand the thought of another day where I can’t kiss you, can’t hold you, can’t be with you. What if you’re _never_ ready?”

“That’s not fair,” Liam countered sharply. “What if I’m ready soon, and you’re just not giving me the chance?”

“I’ve given you plenty of chances, Liam Payne!” Zayn shouted. His voice cracked, and with it, Liam saw Zayn crack, too. “I’ve given you so many god damn chances, each and every day. It’s now or never. I can’t wait any longer.”

Liam didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do. Zayn had opened himself up heart and soul, and all Liam could think of was wanting to reach out and hug him, to comfort him in his time of need. He wanted to tell him everything would be okay, but it wouldn’t. Liam wasn’t ready for this kind of decision now. He didn’t know when he would be.

What hurt the worst was knowing that this was over before it had even started.

He stood there, arms wrapped so tightly around himself with knuckles white as snow. He watched as Zayn wiped away his tears and shook his head. They shared one final look—the look—and Liam knew it was done. He’d made his decision, and Zayn understood loud and clear.

He left without another word, leaving Liam to break down upon the floor in a heaving mess of sorrow and regret.


	3. Liam texts Zayn "No"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Option 2 - where Liam chooses to text Zayn “No”. Please do not read until you’ve read through the first part of the story!

Yes or no.

Such a heavy decision to make. Liam had thought about it throughout all the fan pictures, throughout all the autographs. He thought about it while taking a shower, and while chomping down on a large plate of cookies with a cold glass of milk.

Zayn had put a lot of the weight on his shoulders by asking him to make the decision, and at first Liam felt frustrated by that fact. How could Zayn put this solely on him? This was something between the two of them—obviously it had to be a mutual decision. Why couldn’t Zayn just say he wanted to do this and ask Liam right then and there? Why did he have to give him time to think?

Sometimes Liam wished others understood just how terrifying an unmade up mind could be. Especially his own.

He spent a long while weighing the pros and the cons of both Danielle and Zayn. The truth of the matter was, he did love them both; that much he knew. The core reasons were very similar, such as their uplifting attitudes and their passion for life. It was the small things that made his love different. As easily as he came up with one pro or con for Danielle, he did just the same for Zayn.

He went through two pages of hotel stationery before he finally realized this wasn’t going to do him any good.

He couldn’t hurt Danielle. However, he couldn’t hurt Zayn, either. He didn’t want to lose one by choosing the other. It seemed like a lose-lose situation, and that wasn’t what he wanted at all. What a catch 22.

But the important fact of the matter was that Zayn had promised him if he chose no that nothing would change. Zayn was nothing if not a man of his word; there wasn’t a single instance in which Liam could remember Zayn breaking a promise to him.

Of course, choosing no meant continuing to deal with these unrequited feelings. But that wasn’t Zayn’s fault. Liam had fallen for him all on his own. It would be his responsibility to figure out how to suppress these feelings properly so he could live a healthy, successful life, just as it would be Zayn’s to do with his own feelings.

And Danielle? Well, Danielle had been there for Liam through thick and thin. She was loved by his entire family and had a promising career ahead of her. Most importantly, Liam loved her with his heart and soul, and knew she felt the same way about him. Just the thought of her waiting for him back home in the UK lit him up like a Christmas tree in full décor. He couldn’t imagine life without her, couldn’t imagine hurting her so intensely by choosing Zayn.

That was it, then, he realized.

That was his decision.

And he’d made it not a moment too soon. His phone beeped from the nightstand. Liam got up from the small desk within his room and went over to grab his phone, unlocking it to reveal Zayn’s message:

_Can I come over?_

Liam took a deep breath, thinking hard. Was this the decision that he wanted?

Yes. Yes, it was.

His response to Zayn was very short:

_No._

He stared at it for a moment before sending it. He would have left it at that, if it weren’t for the sudden sound of cursing just outside his door. Liam wasn’t sure he’d heard it at first, so he approached the hotel room door carefully, quietly. He glanced through the peep-hole, looking into the hallway. Standing before his door was Zayn, dressed in sweatpants and a Metallica t-shirt with his glasses on and his hair let down. His eyes were glassy.

Just before Zayn started down the hallway, Liam saw him wipe away a few tears from his eyes. He watched Zayn for as long as he could before the Bradford boy disappeared from his sight.

Liam hoped he wouldn’t regret this…


	4. Liam doesn't text Zayn at all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Option 3 - where Liam chooses not to text Zayn at all. Please do not read until you’ve read through the first part of Choices!

Yes or no.

How the hell was Liam expected to make such an intense decision on such short notice? He was thankful for the fans, because their picture and autograph requests kept him from thinking about this whole ordeal for at least as long as it took to get through them all. By the time he got back to his room, took a bath and had a small snack of cookies and milk, he realized all he had now was time to figure out what it was he wanted to do.

Whatever decision he made here would affect his relationship with Zayn in the long run, no matter what. Liam was painfully aware of that fact. If he said yes, that he wanted him to come over, then that would open a can of worms. Where would they go from here? What would be the best course of action? Would they date? Would they just fool around? What of Danielle?

Likewise, if he said no, then it would still open a can of worms. Liam knew Zayn had said he would drop it, but not once did Zayn say how it would affect them. Sure, the topic would be dropped, but that didn’t mean the unresolved adoration and emotion would be, too. That also didn’t mean they would be free of this oppressive weight of desire sitting upon their shoulders. They had done well before, when neither was fully aware of the other’s feelings. But now? Who knew how quickly it would deteriorate their friendship. Who knew how badly it could affect them?

Being left to make such a difficult decision on his own made Liam angry at first. But he quickly realized that, in the end, it truly was his decision. Zayn was giving him the autonomy he needed; Liam didn’t like decisions being made for him when it came to matters of the heart. Zayn knew that better than anyone else, and he was respecting that. In a way, though, that made it much harder.

How could he make this decision in such a short period of time?

With an audible grunt of displeasure, Liam collapsed atop his hotel room bed, burying his face into his pillow.

_Beep beep!_

His heart skipped a beat.

Zayn’s text.

Liam lifted himself from the pillow and rolled over to his nightstand, reaching out to grab his phone. There, across the screen, was the message:

_Can I come over?_

Liam’s blood ran cold. He wasn’t ready to answer this. He couldn’t answer this. He didn’t know how to logically go about the situation. There were too many what ifs, too many maybes.

In an uncharacteristically stupid move, he threw his phone into the nearby desk chair and returned to burying his face in the pillow, akin to an ostrich burying its head in the sand. Maybe if he ignored it, the problem would just go away.

In a perfect world…

His phone beeped once more five minutes later to remind him that he had an unread message. Though the phone couldn’t reply, he muttered, “Keep beeping, you bugger,” into the pillow.

And then it came.

_Knock knock._

Liam sat straight up and shot his attention to the hotel room door. It couldn’t be Zayn, could it? No, it was probably Harry or Niall, he told himself. They were coming to check up on him before they went to bed. Or maybe it was Louis with ice cream. He’d only come once since the fight.

_Knock knock knock._

The rapping was so gentle, and yet so loud. It pounded in Liam’s head like a jackhammer. The only way he would get it to go away was by answering it, so he willed himself out of the bed and over toward the door. He glanced through the peephole, only to have his fears reaffirmed. There, in the hallway, stood Zayn Malik, dressed in grey sweatpants, a Metallica t-shirt and his glasses. His hair was gel free and fell over his forehead.

He looked breath-taking.

Liam reached a shaky hand toward the handle. He watched Zayn’s body tense as he clicked down on the jamb. Finally, Liam pulled the door open, revealing the Bradford boy.

There was a moment of silence. Then:

“I came anyway.”

Driven by complete instinct, Liam launched forward, grabbed Zayn by the waist and pulled him into a deep kiss. The other boy tasted of cigarettes and breath mints, but it didn’t matter. Liam wanted Zayn, needed him, and the kiss was the first step in permitting himself to indulge in that desire.

Zayn responded with fervor, his arms wrapping around Liam’s neck. The two boys stumbled back into the hotel room, Liam kicking it shut with his foot. They kissed passionately as they fumbled upon the bed, where Zayn fell atop of Liam.

They broke their kiss. Liam stared up at Zayn, caressing his backside with his hand.

“I was standing outside the door,” Zayn admitted breathlessly. “I didn’t know what you were going to say.”

“I didn’t either. That’s why I didn’t respond to you.”

Zayn kissed him quickly, tongue lingering briefly upon his soft lips. He smirked. “Cookies and milk. Your thinking snack.”

“You know me too well.”

“What do you say?” he asked, quietly.

“I love you, Zayn Malik,” Liam replied, feeling his heart thud against his chest. He smiled genuinely. “I love you heart and soul, and I can’t imagine how I truly lived life without ever having kissed you like this, or held you like this.”

The smile that took over Zayn’s face lit it up with such beauty, such charisma. He reached up and caressed Zayn’s cheek, and soon his lips were quickly caught in a passionate, loving kiss.

“I love you, Liam Payne. I’ve waited years for you, and it was well worth it.”

Liam knew there were questions he would have to answer further down the line. He knew he’d made no concrete decision in that moment, but that was the joy of love. Nothing was certain. Nothing was set in stone. Liam forgot that sometimes. The joy of Zayn was that he embodied that reality, and his very presence helped Liam not only understand the uncertainty of life, but also accept it.

Love was a many splendored thing that Liam couldn’t wait to express to Zayn.

“Stay with me tonight,” he whispered in the other’s ear, pulling him in for a hug.

“I’m yours.”


End file.
